Married.

Last week, I was able to go home to Utah and visit my family and friends.  It was seriously the best, and I was so incredibly happy to see everyone!  The only downside is that Jason wasn't there with me.  I'll tell you what, your perspective completely changes once you get married and commit yourself to someone.  There was a time when I thought no one could take precedence over my family, and I was right.  No one can take precedence over my family, except there is one little detail.  Jason is my family. Obviously, my family is still my family, and I love them more than words can ever say, but Jason is now my Family as well; We are now our own little family. Never have I ever cared that I was going on a trip without a boyfriend, especially if it was a trip with my family.  It's always a plus to have your S.O. there with you, but it wasn't a necessary thing for me.  I never cared all that much. I was like, "I'm going to cali with my family TTYL, HAGS!" and that was that.   Okay, maybe not quite like that, but still, you get my point.  Jason has changed my life in so many ways.  In ways that I probably haven't even realized yet.  Being in Utah with some of the people that I hold the most dear was so great, and I loved every minute, but being there without Jason was like going on a big family vacation to Hawaii and leaving your mom home, or one of your siblings.  It's like... hey, why are we leaving mom home?  It's just not a family trip without Mom.  Ohana means family.  Family means that no one gets left behind!

Being in Utah without Jason was like that, and I started to get a familiar feeling every night when I went to bed, alone.  It took me back to a time when I was single.  I don't know about you, but the times that I get the most profound thoughts are at night when I'm going to sleep, or in the shower.  Being single is fun, or so we all tell ourselves.  And for awhile, it is.  Then after awhile, it's not.  It's really, really not, and we keep trying to tell ourselves that it is, and sometimes we actually believe it.  We enjoy "the game," and we go to party after party, meeting tons of new people and fooling ourselves into thinking that we are making "so many new friends," and that college life is the best because I get to "do me."  

That is the great thing about college life and single life, we get to discover ourselves, and we make mistakes, and we do a lot of fun things with a lot of fun people, and if we are lucky, we make a few life long friends.  I'm not saying that being single is a bad thing, in fact, it is necessary. But still, at the end of the day, when the excitement is gone, and the people who constantly surround you have gone home, you're left alone.  At the end of the day, your lonliness overwhelms you, because you realize that you really are on your own.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good party every now and again, but after awhile it gets old, and you realize that these parties and these people and this environment is so.... empty.  And even though you try to ignore those feelings for so long, they always catch up to you because you can't hide from yourself forever, and you can only surround yourself with people for so long.  Then, when you're all alone wondering where you want your life to go, you get that feeling of being unfulfilled.  If you're in this stage of life, or have ever been in this stage of life, you know the feeling.  I'm glad I didn't give up and stop going to parties, and hanging out with a million different people, and coming home every night feeling unfulfilled.  If I would have given up, I wouldn't have met Jason. 

While I was in Utah I got to visit with my mom and dad, my brothers who everyone knows, I love dearly, all of my wonderful in-laws who I adore, and some of my very best friends!  At the end of the day though, I got that familiar feeling of being unfulfilled, because I wasn't with Jason.  It wasn't quite the same, because lucky for me, I get to keep my Jason forever, and I know that, but I realized now more than ever, that he really is the most important person in my life.  And for those of you who are married and have spent any time away from your spouse, I'm sure you have had this similar feeling.  

Being married rocks, and I would seriously recommend it to everyone.  When people say, "don't get married, it's a trap!"  I think it is the saddest thing in the world.  And I know that at the end of the day, they get that overwhelming feeling of loneliness that I once knew all too well.  The growth that I have had since I chose to take my life to the next step and marry my best friend has been anything but small.  I know I have a lot more growth to do, and I know I'll have my sweetheart by my side every step of the way.  There hasn't been a more perfect thing for humans than marriage and families.  I'm lucky to have my spouse by my side every step of the way, forever.  Marrying Jason was the best decision I have ever made, some may say it's the newlywed in me, some may say "call me in 10 years," and to them I say, you may be right, but the only difference between newlywed's and people who have "fallen out of love," or "changed," is effort.  Newlyweds are constantly trying to make each other happy.  If everyone stayed in their newlywed habits, I think the divorce rate would be much, much lower.  I love my husband, I wont ever stop, because I made a commitment to him, and I made a commitment to God, and that is more important to me than anything else in the world.

This all just kind of spilled out of me when I sat down to write, I intended to write about my super duper fun trip to Utah!  Guys, it was super fun!  Can you tell I missed Jason? Here's a picture of us at the temple in South Carolina today.  

We drove 2 hours to get there, and upon arriving were told that it was closed for maintenance... just our luck, right?  We still had a good time, despite the circumstances, and we were able to feel the spirit even though we didn't get to do a session.  Anyway, for those of you in that lonely state, to you I say, It only goes up from here.   

What a Wonderful World

T minus 2 days until I'm a Mrs.  Can you believe it?!  I can't.  It feels like just yesterday that I was playing on the playground with my classmates, and the only thing I had to worry about in the world was whether or not my dress would flip up over my head while playing red rover.  And no, that analogy was not made up... It actually happened.  To this day, I fear tripping in dresses.  Anyway, as far as life goes, time flies.  It's a beautiful and terrible thing, time.  One minute you're just a little kid, and the next minute you're an adult.  Sometimes I mourn my childhood being over, because my childhood was amazing.  I have 6 brothers who I have grown up with and they have been by my side through everything!  They have always had my back.  I also have 2 parents who have adored me and taken care of me my whole life.  They have been there for me through thick and thin.  That makes for a wonderful childhood.  Since it was my birthday on Monday, here's a little birthday throwback.. enjoy.

Now that I am grown (kind of), I reflect back on my life, both the bad and the good, and I think to myself, in the words of Louis Armstrong, "what a wonderful world!"  I only hope that one day, when I bring children into this world, I can teach them all that my parents have taught me, and I can provide a beautiful childhood for them, like my parents did for me.  I hope that they are best friends with their siblings, the way that I am with mine, and that no matter what they are going through, they know that they can talk to Jason and I, and that we are always on their side.

I don't mean to get too mushy, but I am so incredibly grateful for this world that we live in, and that God cared enough for all of us, to make it so beautiful.  Life isn't perfect, I know that as much as anyone else, and sometimes life kind of stinks, but one thing that holds true: we are incredibly blessed.  Every. Single. One of us.  No matter what we may be going through, no matter the heart ache and hardships, when we count our blessings it is incredibly humbling to realize just how lucky we are, and how much good there is in our lives.  Speaking of good in our lives, did you guys know I'm getting married in 2 days?  Yeah, pretty sure everyone knows.

This week has been absolutely crazy in preparation for the wedding!

Last weekend, Jason and I moved all our things into our own little space, and after hours and hours of hard work, we finally made it a little place to call our temporary home.  I love it!  And so does Jason.  We have watched way too many episodes of F R I E N D S this week, now that we have our own little entertainment center and the comfiest couch that there ever was!  Everything is a work in progress, but here's a picture of our bedroom so far.  I love it, and I can't wait to continue to add to it!

Also, Each of us had our Bachelor/Bachelorette parties.  I wont go into detail about mine, but it was so much fun!  I got some amazing things from my dearest friends, and I'm so grateful to my lovely Nikki, Shydi, and Caitlyn for throwing me such a fun party.  My mother-in-law Mary also threw a shower for me with all of Jason's side of the family.  I'm going to highlight one gift that Jason's grandma, Dixie, got for us.  Guys!  She got us a Dyson Ball!  I'm obsessed with it.  The first thing I did when I got home was vacuum the entire house, and can I just say, the hype about this vacuum is true.  Go get one.  They are incredible!  Also, can I just say, I'm marrying into an amazing family?!  Working in a salon, I have heard countless stories about people's in-laws.  To say the least, I was terrified to get in-laws!  My in-laws are amazing, and I am so blessed to be able to say that.

My Birthday kick started this week, and Jason was so sweet to me.  The day started as any other.  I went to school, ran some errands, and went home.  Jason told me to be ready by 7:30, so at 7:30, Jason came to get me, and he took me to Thanksgiving Point for dinner.  Then, he blindfolded me and marched me all over the place!  I looked absolutely ridiculous... Picture me in a dress and heels with a pink skull blindfold over my eyes, and me tripping all over the place.  Now picture Jason letting go of my arm and laughing and taking pictures of a little defenseless me.  It was a good time.  He walked me around for what seemed like forever And finally, he took my blindfold off.  When I too my blindfold off, standing there were some of my best friends from hair school.  They were holding a cake with candles and a million gifts for me.  They then read me a list of "22 favorite single Sheree moments."  It was hilarious and touching and I cried a little bit.  Jason is so thoughtful and caring to have helped plan this little mini party, and I was so grateful for all of my friends.

Another key moment this week was yesterday.  Yesterday I did something monumental in my life.  I went to the LDS Mount Timpanogos Temple.  It was beautiful and sacred and amazing and utterly indescribable.  It was so lovely to be there with my parents, Jason, and Jason's Dad and step Mom.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

As this week comes to a close, and my wedding day gets nearer, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  As I open this next chapter of my life, I am so excited to be sharing my life with Jason, and I am so grateful for the wonderful life that I have lived thus far.  To end, I just want to say, "what a wonderful world!"

 Also, look how cute Jason is!  I want a puppy...