Married.

Last week, I was able to go home to Utah and visit my family and friends.  It was seriously the best, and I was so incredibly happy to see everyone!  The only downside is that Jason wasn't there with me.  I'll tell you what, your perspective completely changes once you get married and commit yourself to someone.  There was a time when I thought no one could take precedence over my family, and I was right.  No one can take precedence over my family, except there is one little detail.  Jason is my family. Obviously, my family is still my family, and I love them more than words can ever say, but Jason is now my Family as well; We are now our own little family. Never have I ever cared that I was going on a trip without a boyfriend, especially if it was a trip with my family.  It's always a plus to have your S.O. there with you, but it wasn't a necessary thing for me.  I never cared all that much. I was like, "I'm going to cali with my family TTYL, HAGS!" and that was that.   Okay, maybe not quite like that, but still, you get my point.  Jason has changed my life in so many ways.  In ways that I probably haven't even realized yet.  Being in Utah with some of the people that I hold the most dear was so great, and I loved every minute, but being there without Jason was like going on a big family vacation to Hawaii and leaving your mom home, or one of your siblings.  It's like... hey, why are we leaving mom home?  It's just not a family trip without Mom.  Ohana means family.  Family means that no one gets left behind!

Being in Utah without Jason was like that, and I started to get a familiar feeling every night when I went to bed, alone.  It took me back to a time when I was single.  I don't know about you, but the times that I get the most profound thoughts are at night when I'm going to sleep, or in the shower.  Being single is fun, or so we all tell ourselves.  And for awhile, it is.  Then after awhile, it's not.  It's really, really not, and we keep trying to tell ourselves that it is, and sometimes we actually believe it.  We enjoy "the game," and we go to party after party, meeting tons of new people and fooling ourselves into thinking that we are making "so many new friends," and that college life is the best because I get to "do me."  

That is the great thing about college life and single life, we get to discover ourselves, and we make mistakes, and we do a lot of fun things with a lot of fun people, and if we are lucky, we make a few life long friends.  I'm not saying that being single is a bad thing, in fact, it is necessary. But still, at the end of the day, when the excitement is gone, and the people who constantly surround you have gone home, you're left alone.  At the end of the day, your lonliness overwhelms you, because you realize that you really are on your own.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good party every now and again, but after awhile it gets old, and you realize that these parties and these people and this environment is so.... empty.  And even though you try to ignore those feelings for so long, they always catch up to you because you can't hide from yourself forever, and you can only surround yourself with people for so long.  Then, when you're all alone wondering where you want your life to go, you get that feeling of being unfulfilled.  If you're in this stage of life, or have ever been in this stage of life, you know the feeling.  I'm glad I didn't give up and stop going to parties, and hanging out with a million different people, and coming home every night feeling unfulfilled.  If I would have given up, I wouldn't have met Jason. 

While I was in Utah I got to visit with my mom and dad, my brothers who everyone knows, I love dearly, all of my wonderful in-laws who I adore, and some of my very best friends!  At the end of the day though, I got that familiar feeling of being unfulfilled, because I wasn't with Jason.  It wasn't quite the same, because lucky for me, I get to keep my Jason forever, and I know that, but I realized now more than ever, that he really is the most important person in my life.  And for those of you who are married and have spent any time away from your spouse, I'm sure you have had this similar feeling.  

Being married rocks, and I would seriously recommend it to everyone.  When people say, "don't get married, it's a trap!"  I think it is the saddest thing in the world.  And I know that at the end of the day, they get that overwhelming feeling of loneliness that I once knew all too well.  The growth that I have had since I chose to take my life to the next step and marry my best friend has been anything but small.  I know I have a lot more growth to do, and I know I'll have my sweetheart by my side every step of the way.  There hasn't been a more perfect thing for humans than marriage and families.  I'm lucky to have my spouse by my side every step of the way, forever.  Marrying Jason was the best decision I have ever made, some may say it's the newlywed in me, some may say "call me in 10 years," and to them I say, you may be right, but the only difference between newlywed's and people who have "fallen out of love," or "changed," is effort.  Newlyweds are constantly trying to make each other happy.  If everyone stayed in their newlywed habits, I think the divorce rate would be much, much lower.  I love my husband, I wont ever stop, because I made a commitment to him, and I made a commitment to God, and that is more important to me than anything else in the world.

This all just kind of spilled out of me when I sat down to write, I intended to write about my super duper fun trip to Utah!  Guys, it was super fun!  Can you tell I missed Jason? Here's a picture of us at the temple in South Carolina today.  

We drove 2 hours to get there, and upon arriving were told that it was closed for maintenance... just our luck, right?  We still had a good time, despite the circumstances, and we were able to feel the spirit even though we didn't get to do a session.  Anyway, for those of you in that lonely state, to you I say, It only goes up from here.   

Smart Phones, Dumb People

As all of you know, I moved from Utah to North Carolina last week.  I haven't even been here for a full week yet, but my loneliness is apparent to me.  I am not an introvert, so being alone isn't my most favorite thing in the world.  I gain my energy from people, friends, family, conversation.  These are the things that I live for, the things that keep me going.  I had a complete breakdown the other day, and I could tell Jason's thoughts were.... 'uh.... what do I do?' haha it was like a cry fest, guys.  The waterworks were on, and they weren't stopping, no matter how hard I tried!  You know how when you're really emotional, but you're composed, and someone asks you "what's wrong?" or shows the slightest amount of sympathy for you, and you just lose it?  That's exactly how it was.  Even though I'm sure Jason felt a little helpless and confused by my sudden sob attack, he was sweet and comforted me and helped me feel better.  I'm so grateful for a supportive and loving husband! I'm also especially grateful for some of my close friends that have helped me immensely, and they don't even know it.  My dear friends Sarah and Kirsten have helped me a lot as I've been out here, whether it be a phone call or a quick text checking up on me, their support has been so appreciated, and it's little things like that, that make a world of difference.  They are so sweet and caring, and they are so helpful because they've both been here before.  They have both felt this loneliness, and they have been genuinely concerned about me.  Personal connection and authenticity is something that we are beginning to lose as a society, but I'm glad to say that I have friends and family that haven't lost that.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how truly flat social media is when it comes to the deep relationships that I have gained over the years.  I never noticed how much my phone has been hindering my relationships until I came out here. Between Jason being gone all day and me not having a job yet, and not knowing a soul out here in North Carolina, I have spent a lot of time on my phone (and at Target.) Me being on my phone is nothing new to North Carolina, it's been in the works since I even got a cell phone. I've become so reliant on social media to keep me entertained, that I have missed opportunities to get to know someone, to get outside myself, and see the beauty around me, all because I'm too focused on my cell phone.  It's a serious problem that I have failed to recognize, but it's real, and I'm guessing that most of you can relate. 

Remember when you were a little kid, and the first thing you did when you got home from school was rush outside to play with your friends?  When sitting at home was the most boring thing in the world and the question your mom heard about 100 times in the hour that you had nothing to do but watch T.V. was, "I'm bored mom!"  When you and your friends would go on adventures, get into trouble, and the neighbors always called your parents and told them how rotten you were being?  When the only games you could play were Uno, go-fish, and the ones that you made up with your friends?  This is the childhood that I remember.

Remember these guys?  Was your childhood something similar to theirs?  I know that mine was.  These kids are much different from the kids today.  Where did it all change?  It all started with Nintendo, and it has only declined from there.  Technology has over-run everyone, including children.  As I walk through the grocery store, instead of siblings annoying the heck out of their mom and running around the grocery store pretending to shoot guns, I see children sitting on their individual ipads, or even worse, their very own cell phones.  Sure, their mom can get her grocery shopping done much easier with quiet, well behaved children, but where is their childhood?  They are losing it.  They are losing it to games, social media, fake friends.  And what do they do when they get home?  They sit and watch T.V. and play more games.  Year after year I notice the decline in children playing outside, and it breaks my heart!  I remember being a kid and being able to run outside if I had nothing to do, and BAM!  Instant friends and instant fun.  We used our imaginations, we played games, we had social skills.

Now we are seeing more of this:

And less of this.

Adults aren't much better either.  

Instead of talking with one another, we exclude ourselves from people and conversation, and we converse online.  We're constantly looking at our phones, and we fail to see the endless opportunities surrounding us.  We fail to see the beauty in the world.  We fail to make those most important to us, feel important.  Lets turn it around, because in reality, we are both the problem and the solution.

Lets make our lives look more like this:

"We're becoming a generation of idiots: smart phones, and dumb people." I watched this incredible video this week that describes my feelings perfectly, I honestly couldn't have said it better myself.  After watching this video, Jason and I made a pact that we were going to put our phones away, and live in the moment.  I hope that you all take the advice in this video like I have. Our phones are meant to be our servants, not our masters. When you watch this video, I'm sure it will make you want to "look up."

Giveaway!

Hello Darlings!

So sorry I've been away for so long!  You wouldn't believe the craziness that has been my life the past month.  It all started with Finals.  Yes, that nasty little word that sends a shiver up my spine every time I hear it.  Sound familiar?  Well, this past semester, among other classes, I took the last Math class that I will EVER have to take!

Here's the thing... Math and I?  We have a relationship where no matter what I do, I can't seem to understand him, and he wont let me go.  Finals were coming, and I knew that in order for Math to let me go, I was going to have to hit the books hard.  When I say that I spent every free moment I had in the math lab the month before finals, I'm not even exaggerating.  I was once there from 9 am to 8 pm.  They had to kick me out!  To say that I fried my brain would be an understatement.

Good news everyone, my professor entered the grades last night and.... I'm free!  I got 104% on my final!  Guys... hard work really does pay off!  And who knew that I was capable of such a high grade on a math test?  That was definitely a shock to me!

The second most time consuming thing in the world?  Moving.  For those of you who haven't heard, Jason and I moved from Utah to North Carolina.

Big move, right?!  Guess what's even cooler?  We drove to North Carolina!  Guys... that's not cool... Driving for 30 hours straight is NOT COOL.  Okay, Enough with my complaining.  It really wasn't that bad.  But, I was MIA for 4 days, and Kansas?  Can I just say, why does anyone want to live there?  The most boring thing I've ever done is drive through Kansas.

Life in North Carolina so far has been excellent!  Last night was Jason and I's first night out together since we moved here, and we went to Jason's favorite Mexican Restaurant, Azteca.  I miss Jason while he is at work, because I don't have a job yet, but I applied for jobs all day today, so hopefully I'll have some good news to share by the end of the week!  Check out this Video I made of us on our Cinco de Mayo Date night.

Because I've been neglecting my blog, and because I'm celebrating passing math with flying colors, I'm doing a GIVEAWAY!

What am I giving away?  I'm giving away 3 products that I literally can't live without.

1. The Beauty Blender
2. La Licious Body Butter
3. Baby Lips

Here's what you've gotta do to be entered into the drawing!  Word to the wise?  The more things you do, the more times your name gets put into the drawing.

1.  Share this post on Facebook or twitter and comment below telling me where you posted it
2.  Share this picture on Instagram and tag @sher_pear with the hashtag #shereegives
3.  Like my post on Instagram
5.  Tag 3 friends in a comment on my instagram post
4.  Follow my blog

If you do all 5 of those things, you'll get 5 entries into the giveaway!  The winner will be announced this Sunday, May 11.  Thanks for reading, and good luck!